TOP 10 NOW

1. Not-So Light Salad Dressing

                

I think what I’ve learned today is that whenever “fat” is removed to become allegedly healthy, it’s just replaced with sugar and artificial sweeteners. Note to self: stop pretending like you’re on a diet because you’re not eating LOW FAT RANCH DRESSING with your side order of fries.

2. Dried Fruit

                                        

Well, I give up. Dried fruit is also loaded with sugar and sulfar to preserve them longer on the store shelves. For example, 1/4 cup of unsweetened banana chips can have up to 120 calories! If fruit isn’t healthy, then I don’t know what is (except for fresh fruit, but whatevz).

3. California Rolls

                                   

Who knew that vegetables and “tofu” could be SO BAD FOR YOU? WHY! 2-3 of these babies pretty much have your daily dose of carbohydrates. Each individual piece has about 35-38 calories alone. AND apparently mock crab is just a wad of sugar, more sugar, artificial flavoring and, this makes me want to cry, strange combination of white fish. Yep, it’s not tofu, it’s processed white fish that tastes like tofu that tastes like crab. CRABCEPTION.

4. Granola

                                  

Granola (depending on the brand you buy) is actually jam packed with sugar and calories. This is upsetting to me, because I’ve been eating what I consider horse food in an attempt to be healthy. But, if you read the label closely, which I didn’t because it’s obviously devastating, you’ll see that a bowl of this stuff can be up to 500 calories, and that’s excluding the milk!

5. Wheat Bread

                                 

It’s unfortunate that unless you’re willing to read the labels VERY CLOSELY, which I’m not, you can be easily duped by packaging. Wheat bread is usually a strange combination of white bread and just enough wheat flour to pass as something multigrainy and healthy. In one slice of wheat bread there are 65 calories, where as in white it’s 80. Not reaaaallly that big of a difference, there. We call your bluff, wheat.

6. Bran Muffin

                                         

I’m never going to feel badly about choosing a chocolate chip muffin over these crappy things again. A large bran muffin can contain 375 whopping calories and 24 percent of the sodium, 13 percent of the total fat and 10 percent of the saturated fat
recommended for the day (according to mayoclinic).

7. “Fat-free” Yogurt

                                          

More like 99% MISLEADING, ammirite? No? Okay. Well, it totally is. The whole allure of the product is that it’s delicious with it’s multitude of strange processed flavors and has a low caloric intake. In reality, many flavored yogurts could have an upwards of 15 grams of sugar in the not-so-filling 6-ounce serving.

8. Microwave Popcorn

                                       

But it’s so light! How can anything this light be bad for you? Well, sorry to ruin microwave popcorn for anyone using it as a healthy alternative, but you might want to reconsider. These bags have outrageous levels of sodium and chemical diacetyl (what makes the buttery taste) that is not a viable option for those health conscious types.

9. “Reduced Fat” Peanut Butter

                                    

First of all, can I just point out that standard peanut butter is made with the same type of sugars that cake frosting is made with. OKAY, so what about reduced fat? Yeah, that’s no good either. See, what happens is when they take the fat out they just replace it with sugar and other fillings. So either way, it’s still 93 calories in a single tablespoon. It’s like the peanut butter industry is playing a huge joke where reduced fat literally just means “WE HATE YOU” with love from your favorite lunch sandwich.

10. Turkey Sandwich

                                       

This is so upsetting. I was always under the assumption that a good ol’ fashioned turkey sandwich was always a safe bet. But, um, apparently it’s not. One sandwich, with the works (lettuce, cheese, tomato, mayo and turkey) can be up to 400 calories.